Metro Bowl XI Championship
American North
QB: Brian Palmeter (TMT) - 3X All-Metro
C: Tijuan Porter (TKO) - 1st Appearance
WR: Blake Webb (Rams) - 1st Appearance
WR: Matt Kiehne (TMT) - 1st Appearance
WR: Paul Carrell (Chiefs) - 1st Appearance
LB: Jason McDonald (TEAM 816) - 9X All-Metro
DB: Elias Wedde (BTPU) - 5X All-Metro
DB: William Griffin (TEAM 816) - 5X All-Metro
DB: Derrick Hightower (TKO) - 1st Appearance
Great West
QB: Dylan Austin (Practice Squad) - 2X All-Metro
C: TJ Stokes (Blazers) - 2X All-Metro
WR: Collin Griffith (Warriors) - 2X All-Metro
WR: Steve Owens (Practice Squad) - 1st Appearance
LB: Brandon Crabtree (NWA) - 3X All-Metro
DB: Kyson Ginavan (Practice Squad) - 1st Appearance
DB: Dawon Adams (The Dotte) - 1st Appearance
DB: OJ Spencer (NWA) - 4X All-Metro
Big East
QB: Trevor Andreas (Bulls) - 1st Appearance
C: Charlie Whitmore (Bulls) - 1st Appearance
WR: Jacob Copple (Black Sox) - 3X All-Metro
WR: Mike Liberty (Bad Birds) - 2X All-Metro
LB: Chet Whitmore (Bulls) - 1st Appearance
DB: Jordan Elliott (Those Guys) - 2X All-Metro
DB: James Cox (Elite) - 1st Appearance
DB: Van Lindsey Jr (Cocanes) - 1st Appearance
Dirty South
QB: Bryan Pinick (oYm) - 1st Appearance
C: Jared Moser (oYm) - 2X All-Metro
WR: Adrian Jackson (Ravens) - 2X All-Metro
WR: Kaleb Gilmore (The Franchise) - 1st Appearance
LB: Anthony Navas (oYm) - 1st Appearance
DB: Phillip Mcdaniels (Conquorers) - 1st Appearance
DB: Murad Baheyadeen (oYm) - 1st Appearance
DB: Zach Kadolph (Bro Montanas) - 2X All-Metro
Great West Championship
Big East Championship
Dirty South Championship
 By His Dirkness, www.hisdirkness.com
PLAYOFFS?!? Playoffs.
It's that time again, boys and Flamin' Flamingoes.
The regular season is all fun n' games n' stats n' crooked out of bounds lines, but now it's playoff time. It's time to see who's got their big boy pants on and who's got that lemon booty.
It's also time for some good old fashioned, pink-in-the-stink, KC Metro playoff preDirktions. As the kids say, lincoln logs…
Dirty Souff
Top Seed: OyM - QB Brian Pinick captured first team honors, but this overgrown squad won with their defense all season, allowing only 104 points in 10 games (bested only by The Automatics). Thank goodness for the Chef Baheyadeen Bros!
Darkhorse - Bro Montanas. The Camo 900's are experienced, and poised for a playoff run, so long as Andrew Stiffelman can get over being passed up as the previous night's Lucky Pierre.
QB to watch - Mud Dogs QB Eric Czerniewski. The best kept secret in the league is this guy, who won the Harlon Hill Trophy, which is basically the Heisman for Division II Football. He also has his own Wikipedia page. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eric_Czerniewski
Athlete to watch - Ravens WR/CB Adrian Jackson. Potent on both offense and defense, Jackson got the skillz to take the Ravens on a deep run, along with his step-cousin-daddy-twice-removed-now-his-QB Steve Jackson. Ah, family.
Upset Alert - War Corps over oYm. Don't say I didn't warned ya. Flag Football Legend Jim Rote is a gamer, like a miniature Mark Brunell all covered in hair. And he's got his troops ready.
Championship PreDirktion: Bro Montanas over Mud Dogs, 27-19
Big Eazy
Top Seed: Bulls. Led by the Mark Wahlbergianest guy in the league, QB Trevor Andreas runs a super efficient offense (33TD/4INT). Butttttttt, rumor has it the dude cut his hair, testing my allegiance to him as my favorite player in the league. These playoffs shall determine.
Biggest question - How much does experience matter? The bottom two teams have the most experience in the division. Will it matter? I say…half and half (along with some Kahlua and Vodka, amiright?). The Black Sox have had a statutory season, and their consent won't be enough to drop the Bulls' charges. But…
Upset Alert - Bad Birds over The Avengers. Their experience, The Hefty Lefty and Out-n-upppppin Mike Liberty will be too much for Koko B. Garron and CRiley a Rivers.
Best of the rest - None of the teams seeded 2-6 stand out to me, which probably means we're in for a slue of close games in what I think will be the most competitive of all the brackets on Sunday. Who will emerge from this group of teams? My best bet would be the Cocanes.
QB to watch - Those Guys QB Jordan Elliott. He might look like a dork, and may even act like a dork, but…..wait, what was I saying? Oh yeah, dude can ball, gets the job done on defense too. Love guys who go both ways.
Athlete to watch - The Avengers WR/CB Johnny Howard. I'm still convinced this dude isn't former Dirk whipping boy, Josh Howard. Got the name. Got the height. Got the headband. Got the weed addiction? Still investigating…
Championship PreDirktion: Bulls over Bad Birds, 25-20
Great West
Top Seed: Practice Squad - Fresh off a spirited effort against TMT (they led at half), Squad is the overwhelming favorite to win the Great West and move up with the big boys next season. Question is, can they handle the target on their back?
The team nobody wants to play - Warriors. They've got Championship experience (they won this division last season). They've got a QB who knows how to win (Dennis O'Brien, the Hefty….righty). And they've got the most unknown great player in the whole league, WR Collin Griffith. Watchoutnowy'hear?
Relegation - Top Flight. Tough season for the friendly brothers from….well, I don't know where they're from. But they're good guys, who are stuck in limbo between the top two divisions. Best part about the KC Metro? They can turn their season around with one victory over Practice Squad.
QB to watch - The Dotte QB Terry Rowe - It may not look pretty, but his unique QB'ing style is most definitely effective. One of the more athletic QB's in the league, he uses his legs to set up plays as well as anybody.
Athlete to watch - Blazers C/LB TJ Stokes - The heart of the Blazers coulda/woulda/shoulda garnered all-Metro honors as both a Center and a Rusher. Might also be the smallest dude in the league, I'd pay atleast 7 bucks to see a wrestling match between he and lil' Johnny Ash.
I'm a playa, too - Osborne's Team WR Jay Osborne, Practice Squad WR/DB Cody Kennedy, NWA DB OJ Spencer, Blazers / Dontez Sanchez, The Dotte WR/DB Dawon Adams and, of course, my dog Baxter.
Championship PreDirktion: Warriors over Practice Squad, 20-19
American Norff - The Battle for Metro Bowl XI
Top Seed: TMT - The Money Team. Not as dominant as in season's past, but it's still been a minute since these fogies lost a game. I've been thinking they'd slip up at some point this season, are these playoffs the time for it? If not, they'll tie Team 816 for most Bowls of Metro in league history. Oh, and they could meet in the Semifinals. Battle for supremacy!
Rematch Nation - Three of the first round games are rematches from just last week. Chiefs took TMT to the limit, an undermanned Scoregazm team upchucked TKO, and the Rams lambasted a floundering BTPU.
Forgotten Squad - Team 816. All these new teams this season, I've almost forgotten bout my boys in blue. SuPermanG, Hollywood as Hell MeMe, WILL!, Token, Mean Gene, and pReedator have earned my best nicknames in my time with KC Metro. Oh, I forgot one…
The Logo - Jason McDonald. The main mang of Metro, mane. Saw a stat on the website, McDonald's a 9x All Metro performer. 9 times!!!! "Niiiiiiiiine times" - Principal Rooney. Too bad he's getting cut next season, fresh off his move to the 913 side of life.
Wildcard - The Outsiders. No idea who's gonna show up for them. If they bring out the full squad, they're dangerous. Missing a few guys, and they'll fold. Theo better be bringing his late night text game this week.
M.I.A. - Nobody knows who will show up for The Outsiders, but a few players I've confirmed won't be in action on Sunday: Chiefs QB Andre Roberson (out with 2-8itis) and BTPU WR Sam McCrillis (out with professional soccer teamitis). Big losses for their teams.
On a pedestal - Long timers Scoregazm, BTPU, and TKO, and even the Rams/Lions franchise are all looking for their first Metro Championship. One of these four teams will be playing in Metro Bowl XI, representing the bottom half of the bracket.
QB to watch - Rams QB Bad Ass Billy Schoonover. He drops bombs. To his little bro, Road Dogg Brett Schoonover. Has the potential to carry his team to the 'ship.
Athlete to watch - TKO C/LB Tijuan Porter. Dude's a gamer. He makes plays that win games. Period. Exclamation point. Tilda.
First Round PreDirktions: TMT over Chiefs, Team 816 over The Outsiders, Rams over BTPU, TKO over Scoregazm.
Semifinal PreDirktions: Team 816 over TMT, TKO over Rams.
Metro Bowl PreDirktion: TKO over Team 816, 33-26
Game over, thanks for playing.
Got a new podcast with KC Star columnist Sam Mellinger dropping Thursday of this week. Be sure to give it a listen at AmateurHourpodcast.com.
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Results for the week - May 19, 2013 to May 25, 2013
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| 11:50 AM | | Playoffs | | | Dirty South Semifinal | |
| 12:40 PM | | Playoffs | | | Dirty South Semifinal | |
| 1:30 PM | | Playoffs | | | Dirty South Championship | |
| 1:30 PM | | Playoffs | | | Big East Semifinal | |
| 1:30 PM | | Playoffs | | | Big East Semifinal | |
| 2:20 PM | | Playoffs | | | Big East Championship | |
| 3:10 PM | | Playoffs | | | Great West Semifinal | |
| 3:10 PM | | Playoffs | | | Great West Semifinal | |
| 4:00 PM | | Playoffs | | | Great West Championship | |
| 4:50 PM | | Playoffs | | | American North Semifinal | |
| 4:50 PM | | Playoffs | | | American North Semifinal | |
| 5:40 PM | | Playoffs | | | Metro Bowl XI | |
| 6:30 PM | | Tournament | | | Pro Bowl/Metro Skills Challenge | |
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| TMT | 10 | 0 | 0 | 1.000 | 322 | 127 | 195 |
| Rams | 8 | 2 | 0 | .800 | 371 | 212 | 159 |
| TKO | 8 | 2 | 0 | .800 | 319 | 163 | 156 |
| TEAM 816 | 7 | 3 | 0 | .700 | 276 | 177 | 99 |
| Outsiders | 6 | 4 | 0 | .600 | 245 | 223 | 22 |
| Scoregazm | 5 | 5 | 0 | .500 | 232 | 227 | 5 |
| BTPU | 5 | 5 | 0 | .500 | 244 | 251 | -7 |
| Chiefs | 2 | 8 | 0 | .200 | 208 | 340 | -132 |
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| Practice Squad | 8 | 2 | 0 | .800 | 299 | 133 | 166 |
| Blazers | 6 | 4 | 0 | .600 | 246 | 209 | 37 |
| Warriors | 5 | 5 | 0 | .500 | 209 | 211 | -2 |
| The Dotte | 4 | 6 | 0 | .400 | 176 | 179 | -3 |
| Osborne's Team | 4 | 6 | 0 | .400 | 202 | 216 | -14 |
| NWA | 4 | 6 | 0 | .400 | 152 | 181 | -29 |
| Rush | 3 | 7 | 0 | .300 | 155 | 277 | -122 |
| Top Flight | 3 | 7 | 0 | .300 | 127 | 309 | -182 |
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| Bulls | 8 | 2 | 0 | .800 | 247 | 180 | 67 |
| The Avengers | 6 | 4 | 0 | .600 | 224 | 153 | 71 |
| Elite | 6 | 4 | 0 | .600 | 195 | 189 | 6 |
| Those Guys | 6 | 4 | 0 | .600 | 233 | 247 | -14 |
| Cocanes | 5 | 5 | 0 | .500 | 247 | 208 | 39 |
| Flamin' Flamingos | 4 | 6 | 0 | .400 | 197 | 233 | -36 |
| Bad Birds | 3 | 7 | 0 | .300 | 184 | 251 | -67 |
| Black Sox | 3 | 7 | 0 | .300 | 198 | 309 | -111 |
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| oYm | 8 | 2 | 0 | .800 | 194 | 104 | 90 |
| Ravens | 6 | 4 | 0 | .600 | 195 | 197 | -2 |
| Bro Montanas | 5 | 5 | 0 | .500 | 182 | 195 | -13 |
| The Franchise | 4 | 6 | 0 | .400 | 136 | 131 | 5 |
| Mud Dogs | 4 | 6 | 0 | .400 | 167 | 174 | -7 |
| KC Spartans | 3 | 7 | 0 | .300 | 138 | 232 | -94 |
| Conquerors | 3 | 7 | 0 | .300 | 167 | 263 | -96 |
| War Corps | 2 | 6 | 0 | .250 | 123 | 135 | -12 |
| Flag Fu | 1 | 9 | 0 | .100 | 96 | 261 | -165 |
| The Automatics | 0 | 2 | 0 | .000 | 20 | 29 | -9 |
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